Life Coaches

Apparently I need one because enough people take it upon themselves to tell me what I should be doing. Today at work, I had a captain insist I wasn't being proactive enough with the things most important to him. He's convinced President Obama is the harbinger of society's downfall. I need to put all my money into precious metals, he explained. The debt's out of control. China's gonna pull out. I didn't ask from what, but when they do the stock market's going to crash and there will be marshall law.

"Do you own a gun?" he asked.

"No."

"Go get your concealed weapons permit," he told me. "Then you can order an H & K. (I don't know anything about guns, but I'm guessing it's his favorite.) Sign up for the FFDO program. (that's the deal where pilots get to carry guns in the cockpit. I always thought it was stupid until some jackass fired his by accident and put a hole in the plane. Then I knew it was stupid.) You don't need to carry it."

Then what's the point.

"Why would I need a gun?" I asked.

"Suppose there's civil unrest. Someone might break into your house."

"Someone might do that now," I said.

"That's right. You've got to protect yourself. Guns are great."

"I'll be alright," I said. "I've survived this long."

He huffed a response, then explained how he was spending his vacation checking out new countries to move to when the United States collapses. He mentioned how rough it is along the Honduras/Nicaragua border and said I'd never survive. I told him I didn't think I'd be going there.

I hope he tells me where he ends up though. I'll still need him to tell me what to do.