Monday, November 8, 2010

I Am Froggered

When dazed seems inadequate, and confused just won't do; when stunned is off the radar and you find yourself in that place that lies beyond the other side of sense, where the world rushes past at light speed and you shrink down to a singularity, surrounded by a protective, mind-numbing haze that consists of a single question on an endless loop - WTF? - you need a new word.

That word is froggered

Remember the 80s video game where you had to maneuver a frog across a busy street and then over a rushing river, fraught with danger in the form of alligators, snakes and other frog squashing things? Each level got progressively harder. The cars whizzed by faster. The river sped up. As you got deeper into the game, the chances of frogger successfully reaching his destination grew slimmer. Eventually, SPLAT!

Still, mere mortals could get pretty far before becoming road kill. But then, there was another level, one of such ludicrous speed the programmers were the only ones to attempt it, and then, only as a joke. They knew that to include this level in the game would only cause the players to smash the cartridge with a hammer, lest they believe they were actually expected to attempt such inanity.

And so, the word froggered must enter our vocabulary, for I have reached such a place and no existing words cover it. Somehow, I beat the game without realizing I was even playing.

It should not have happened. It could not have happened. And yet it has.

I'm sorry I can't say more.

Please don't ask.

I am much too froggered.


Holly Ruggiero said...

Ooo, I have been froggered before!

Rebecca said...

I really like this analogy. I'm so very curious as to why you are froggered. So very curious.

...But I won't ask. No, I'll respect your request . . . *chews nails anxiously*

Traci said...

Brilliant post, all of it! I've just added that word to my vocabulary, lol.

Rhonda said...

Love it! I mean, not that you're froggered of course but I love the word. I will now proceed to annoy the living crap out of everyone I know with it because this week I am indeed froggered!

Hope you start moving your way up the video game chain soon!

Melissa said...

I hope your froggerness passes soon. Wow, that sounds disturbing;)

coffeelvnmom said...

Oh wow. Froggered. I'm loving it. And I was just telling my girls about this the other day. I was addicted to frogger. Frogger was my LIFE. When my grades were bad, that's what I was grounded from. Atari, and my frogger game. How pathetic is that? LOL Yeah... good times.


Julie Dao said...

I am moving at a froggerish pace today. I am a froggeree. My froggerment is irritating. (Look at all these possibilities!)

Jeanne said...

Sorry you are froggered. Hope things go better.It is the high pace frogger society we live in. Too much to do, too little time to do it in, and life moving at too fast a pace. Take care, frog friend.

I used to love Frogger.

Tina Lynn said...

LOL. The only thing that comes to my head is Seinfeld. #dontjudgeme