Sunday, September 25, 2011

Major Coup

With school back in session for a week already, it was high time Howard and Moira took the kids to Disney World for ten days.  Never mind they had all summer.  Don't you know it's just easier to wait until school starts?  Thank goodness for the happiest place on earth, because our little community is anything but.

Quick background:  We have a lake.  It's banks have been eroding for years.  Our association board has twice assessed the homeowners thousands of dollars to fix it.  Twice, the fix has failed.  They just authorized another assessment.  It's a lot.  Folks is pissed.

So while Howard the board member rode around Disney World on his association-paid-for golf cart, a recall movement began.  I signed the petition. As much as I like to rag on Howard and Moira, I do consider them friends.  As a result of that friendship, I know far too much about what goes on on that board.   And really, knowing who was behind it, it would be too much fun not to.

Two doors down from Howard lives Linus.  Linus is a drunk with a heart condition that will one day leave him dead.  No warning. He'll just die.  As a result, he doesn't work, instead spending his final days (stretching into years now) sitting in his garage with a beer in his hand.  All day long.  A few years ago, Linus painted his house a non-board-approved color.  After much bellyaching on both sides, he painted the trim a different color, but still refuses to pay the fine levied against him.  This, among other things, has pitted Linus and Howard against each other.

Howard is now paranoid. He's so "fustrated" some nut job (read, Linus) will take over and undo all his great deeds, like our ridiculous three-gate entry system for residents. He even fears the "new" board members will want to string "bob-wire" around the lake. This came between laments of how bad he wants to quit the board, but fears who might replace him.

I, being everyone's friend, get to hear both sides.  And both sides are nuts.  But since it's Linus leading the charge against Howard, I figure there will be fireworks before long.  And I missed the fireworks this past Fourth of July, so I figure I'm do for some fun.

And since I'm friends with both, I get to play the instigator too.  But here's the best part, none of it will affect me anyway.  We're selling our house.


Fear not loyal readers.  Wherever I live, I end up with wacky neighbors.  Remind me to tell you about the Herdsmen.  Or Morty and Leroy.  Or Dennis the Menace.  Or Baldy and RAF.  Or you could read about Hotpants

And yes, if I end living next door to you, you too will get a derogatory nickname.

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