MR.Patrick K. W. Chan (Executive Director & Chief financial Officer) Hang Seng Bank Limited 83 Des Voeux Road, Central Hong Kong SAR FOR YOUR ATTENTION It is understandable that you might be a little bit apprehensive because you do not know me but I have a lucrative business proposal of mutual interest to someone who suits my proposed business relationship. I am Mr. Patrick K. W. Chan Executive Director & Chief financial Officer of Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have an obscured business suggestion for you. I will need you to assist me in executing a business project from Hong Kong to your country. It involves the transfer of a large sum of money. Everything concerning this transaction shall be legally done without hitch.Please endeavour to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been successfully transferred into your account, we shall share in the ratio to be agreed by both of us I will prefer you reach me on my private email address below (email@example.com) and finally after that I shall furnish you with more information about this operation.Please if you are not interested delete this email and do not hunt me because I am putting my career and the life of my family at stake with this venture. Although nothing ventured is nothing gained. Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated. Best Regards, Mr. Patrick Chan firstname.lastname@example.org
So I answered with this, doing my best to sound as illiterate as those who normally send these things:
MR.Patrick K. W. Chan, HOW FORTUNATE your timing in contacting me at this time. It is with GREAT TREPIDATION I have received many solicitations causing wary anxiety from reputed scam artists promising get rich quick schemes. I can tell from your email you are a trustworthy individual, no doubt risk life and limb in contacting me. I sympathize with you and your family. It happens that I have been seeking just such an obscured business transaction as the one you are suggesting. I find the execution of just such a transaction most agreeable, and will do everything I can to hasten your execution. Regarding the transfer of large sums, I am most agreeable. Lest you further fear your safety in the event of a hitch, be forewarned, I have access to a trailer. It is meticulously maintained and can also accommodate a golf cart, procured under questionable circumstances. I look forward to giving you the business. Fear not. This transaction will be shrouded in the secrecy afforded by the internet. Awaiting your response,
You'll notice I included a link to Mr. Chan's email. Do with it what you will.