Monday, August 2, 2010

I'm Going To Be Rich

Well, by gum, it looks like I'm on the fast track to Easy Street.  I suppose we've all seen those spam emails promising to deposit millions of dollars into our bank accounts, if we only offer our help to someone suffering monetary overload.  But have you ever responded?  I did today.  Here it is.  If Patrick K. W. Chan responds to my response, I will, of course, post it, and any further correspondence.  Just don't tell anyone you saw it here.  It's a secret.  His family is in danger.

He wrote:
MR.Patrick K. W. Chan
(Executive Director & Chief financial Officer)
Hang Seng Bank Limited
83 Des Voeux Road, Central
Hong Kong SAR


It is understandable that you might be a little bit apprehensive 
because you do
not know me but I have a lucrative business proposal of mutual interest 
someone who suits my proposed business relationship.

I am Mr. Patrick K. W. Chan Executive Director & Chief financial 
Officer of
Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have an obscured business suggestion for you. I 
will need
you to assist me in executing a business project from Hong Kong to your
country. It involves the transfer of a large sum of money.

Everything concerning this transaction shall be legally done without
hitch.Please endeavour to observe utmost discretion in all matters 
this issue.

Once the funds have been successfully transferred into your account, we 
share in the ratio to be agreed by both of us I will prefer you reach 
me on my
private email address below ( and finally 
that I shall furnish you with more information about this 
operation.Please if
you are not interested delete this email and do not hunt me because I am
putting my career and the life of my family at stake with this venture.
Although nothing ventured is nothing gained.

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.
Best Regards,

Mr. Patrick Chan

So I answered with this, doing my best to sound as illiterate as those who normally send these things:

MR.Patrick K. W. Chan,

HOW FORTUNATE your timing in contacting me at this time.  It is with 
GREAT TREPIDATION I have received many solicitations causing wary 
anxiety from reputed scam artists promising get rich quick schemes.  I 
can tell from your email you are a trustworthy individual, no doubt 
risk life and limb in contacting me.  I sympathize with you and your 

It happens that I have been seeking just such an obscured business 
transaction as the one you are suggesting.  I find the execution of 
just such a transaction most agreeable, and will do everything I can to 
hasten your execution.  Regarding the transfer of large sums, I am most 
agreeable.  Lest you further fear your safety in the event of a hitch, 
be forewarned, I have access to a trailer.  It is meticulously 
maintained and can also accommodate a golf cart, procured under 
questionable circumstances.

I look forward to giving you the business.  Fear not.  This transaction 
will be shrouded in the secrecy afforded by the internet.

Awaiting your response,

You'll notice I included a link to Mr. Chan's email.  Do with it what you will.


Cheyanne said...

This made my day.

Do share your riches with us when your lucrative transaction is completed.

Matt Ryan said...


I've sent Mr. Chan an email with specifics regarding the financial transaction from the States of United America to Hong Kong. Every hour that passes without the transfer of my funds to Mr. Chan threatens the very value of my depreciating American dollar. His cooperation is regarded as mutually beneficial and will be determined in during a collect call from pay phone as to not put either respective party in harm's way. He is to reach me at the super private email address:


Bao Yang "Fat Tony" Smith

Anonymous said...

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Is this possible?