Quandry

I've got a major announcement to announce, but it's leaving me uneasy.  In order to do this right, I feel I have to reveal my true identity.  This, I fear, could backfire, since I've written some not-so-nice things about some real people, like my next door neighbors and a few of the morons I've worked with.  Not that I give two rats about the idiots I fly with, but my neighbors, despite what I've written (all true, by the way) are actually decent people.  Dare I say, good friends?  Well, friends, anyway.

Of course, in the interest of snarkiness, I should point out that Howard mowed his lawn today.  Again, he went about three months between cuttings, and picked one of the rainiest days of the year, yet again, meaning the clumpy grass kept clogging his mower, causing him to restart.  This is not news.  What is news is the strange apparatus he wore which, from a distance, appeared to be one of those masks you put in the freezer and then wear to keep cool.  He had it on his forehead.  Only Moira's Bret Michaels headband would have completed the ensemble.  At least he wore a shirt this time.

At any rate, good news coming soon.  Start saving your dollars.