I've been thinking this for a while, and this may just be what does it. Apparently it's not enough to have mysterious holes appearing in my yard. Now I have to contend with mammoth arachnids as well.
Whilst doing some yard work, I felt something brush against my shoulder and neck. A quick glance to one side revealed the most perfectly spun web I've seen in awhile, dusted in fine brown pollen. Then I noticed its maker scrambling away. But for the grace of who knows what, this nasty thing would surely have sunk its fangs into my neck.
I mean really! Giant spiders? There's water on the other side of those bushes. Why couldn't it be a harmless alligator? Next I'll probably get into a fight with one of the many pythons slithering through the Everglades. At least those are big enough I might see it coming. A guy was bitten by a green mamba a few months ago. Yeah, I thought they only came in black too. But greens are plenty deadly, and better camouflaged. Man, what I wouldn't give for the safety of an igloo right about now.
That's a normal sized baseball, only a couple inches in front of this behemoth.