Thursday, March 18, 2010

New Blog Policies

To:  All readers and followers of Pensive Sarcasm
From: Management
Subject: Changes to blog policy

In light of recent events, and after careful deliberation, ownership has come to the difficult decision to institute new policies regarding the reading and following of Pensive Sarcasm.  It seems some readers may have interpreted the failed 99 Followers Challenge as a blatant grab for attention.  While this may be true, management does not take lightly the ramifications of said interpretation; namely, the quitting of following this blog.  And wile many new followers have joined during this time, it is not without hardship that we suffer the loss of others.

Harder still, is that with growing readership, it becomes difficult to maintain the close, personal relationship with each follower that this blog was built on.  It has recently been brought to the attention of ownership that we were, for a time, unaware of certain new followers, who have chosen to remain faceless.  That said, it is paramount we rectify the situation.

Henceforth, the following policies will be in force:

  1. New followers are requested to leave a comment on the current post. (Not necessarily this post) Introduce yourself to ownership and your fellow followers.
  2. Followers without avatars will be permitted, but it is management's position they should select and use an avatar post haste.  Without one, you may get lost amidst swelling numbers.  Concurrently, followers who abandoned an avatar i.e. Kara, are encouraged to return to one.
  3. Following under an alias, or using more than one avatar is frowned upon.  If a follower is having an identity crisis, or suffers an ailment such as MBPS (multiple blogger personality syndrome), management will allow leaves of absence until such condition is treated.  So long as a clinical diagnosis is provided, no follower shall lose their position within this blog.
  4. Under no circumstances will SPAM be tolerated.  We would like to leave comments open without taking the drastic measure of regulation.  This policy may be revisited in the future.
  5. Followers are permitted to leave Pensive Sarcasm at any time.  However, upon resignation, please leave a comment on the current post. (Not necessarily this post)  This will enable management to facilitate your exit interview.
It is the hope of management that you will embrace these changes as positive steps toward a future of unlimited blogging, witty banter and thoughtful mockery. 

Bloggitudily yours,

President, CEO, CFO, COO, Editor, Copywriter and Janitor
Pensive Sarcasm


Wendy Ramer said...

Wow, you and I have the same job description ;-) I believe I started following you during your quest for more followers but by pure chance. So I'm here to stay it seems.

Wendy Ramer said...

Ooh, forgot to formally introduce myself: Wendy Ramer, author of general fiction and blogger of On 'n On 'n On ( to be here and meet you all ;-)

Melissa said...

Love the new policies Matt! I am an old follower - no I'm not OLD I've just been around a while:) But I recognize that I haven't been commenting regularly. I shall work to remedy this!

SuzanneWrites said...

Let me introduce myself: I'm a writer of YA fantasy and science fiction. I drink too much coffee, own too many pets, and am the master of procrastination.
I think I saw a post with the link to your blog on absolute write, but I can't say any more... Need more coffee!

Kristin Rae said...

You know me! You were my 100th follower and I gave you a prize!! ;)

Is it really possible to "stop following" a blog? Because I am following a few that have ceased being updated and I'd like to nix them off my list... I'm blogger challenged and can only do the simple stuff!!

Kara said...

I don't have an avatar?!

Kara said...

You were right. I don't know how the heck that happened but thanks for the head's up. I hope you enjoy the chicken suit.

Tina Lynn said...


Kirsten Lesko said...

LOL! Love the exit interview. Is it possible just to follow without officially following? I subscribe to your blog in my Google newsreader. Does that count for something?

Matt said...

Wendy Ramer - Very well done. You'll go far here.

Melissa - You're never forgotten. Glad to see you again.

SuzanneWrites - Can't say any more without coffee? Sounds like a medical condition.

Kristin Rae - I've been a few people's 100th follower. But you're the only one who's celebrated me properly.

Kara - I do like the chicken suit. Glad to see you're not a ghost.

Tina Lynn - That's the second time you've made that face. I don't get it. Are you sad, happy, scared, befuddled?

Kirsten Lesko - If there was a way to keep track of who reads without a blog identity, I'd do it. Still glad to know you're here.

DL Hammons said...

In response to managements new rules, some of us followers would like to petition to form a union to represent us in future contract negotiations.

Consider yourself warned!!

Brenda Susan said...

Oh man, I thought I was a new follower to a fun & fancy free funny guy blog! Now you get all institutional & regulatory?! I'll have to seriously think about my earlier commitment to you or join DL Hammon's union's quest.
I am Brenda Susan & I joined you in order to help you get 100 Followers figuring that if you could do it then I certainly could. (Sarcasm alert)

Erica said...

LOL - way to bring 'em out of the woodwork dude. Looks like you're nearing that 99! Always enjoy your blog ;o)

Amy Saia said...

And hence the sarcasm. You know my name, look up the number : ).

Matt said...

Union organizers beware - if it goes anything like my real life union contract, we'll still be negotiating three years from now.

Erica - Ditto.

Amy Saia - You're on the fast track to upper management.

KLM said...

As an early follower of your blog, I feel like I should get some recognition of my seniority in your followership. Maybe a star or two stars or better yet, a picture of bacon next to my avatar. That would show me that you really care.

Matt said...

KLM - Methinks you're freeloading. Curious to see where you rank I was shocked to find you absent. My blog's not listed in your profile either. Too bad you might have won a prize.

Lola Sharp said...

Matt, dude, I am your most recent follower, #97, I left you a comment yesterday...there better be donuts and coffee with the policy memo.

I'm joining DL's union.

Entry levelly yours,

KLM said...

Hmmm. Odd. When I clicked on "follow this blog" it says I already am a follower. Maybe I had previously signed on to follow privately? Perhaps on some level I sensed the public shame that might result if anyone recognized my avatar here.

Well. There. I fixed that. I'm not giving up any benefits, however, so don't try to pull any of your management BS on me.

Also, I've now just acted as the launching pad for follower #99. I'm giving you the assist that leads to the winning basket. I believe, technically, I'm entitled to a kickback.

Tiffany Neal said...

Just snorted coke out my nose.


Amy Saia said...

It says 98 followers. I'm going to break down and put a link to your blog on my blog and our blogs will make baby followers.

Jonathon Arntson said...

There's a spelling typo in your policies, does that make them null and void, or put them up for interpretation? :)

Hint: A stratagem or trick intended to deceive or ensnare.

Ann Vevera said...

Shame on me, but I'm a lurker. And I run when someone pulls out a contract. But I pop in and read when I see a blog title that interests me. Maybe if you start giving out stuff: stars, donuts, movie tickets (!!), I will think about a followship.

Ted Cross said...

Ok, I'll introduce myself. I'm a not-yet-published fantasy/sci-fi writer. I haven't yet queried my first novel, because I keep finding new ways to torture, I mean edit, the story.

Matt said...

Jonathon - What was it? Blatant? Grab? I'm clueless.

Ann - I understand you face a difficult choice. I hope you take time for serious consideration before making such a commitment. Talk it over with your family, try it out. It's free.

Ted - et, al... You don't have to comment on this post. Use the current post. Thank you for the introduction though.

Jonathon Arntson said...