That's how long I spent revising my query today, after comments from Absolute Write. So, I've reposted the new version, if anyone cares to look at it. Thanks for everyone's help.
And why am I telling you how long I spent writing? Because there's a blogfest going on. It's not too late to join. Just visit Patti Nielson to sign up. It's pretty simple. All this week, keep track of how much time you spend writing. That's it.