Howard And The Mulch Pile

Some of the neighbors have spruced up their yards, bringing in professional landscapers to make things nice.  My next-door neighbor, Howard, has been lamenting how awful his yard looks.  I've been pointing out how awful it's looked for years to no avail.  I guess seeing everyone else's results spurred Howard to action.  Not that he called in a professional or anything, despite my encouragement.  He decided to go all Sarah Palin on the neighborhood.

He has an area near the front door that has, over the years, been home to a fountain, a park bench, a rock garden and currently all of the above, buried under some pretty thick grass.  Once he got to work there was no stopping him.  Except when NASCAR was on.  Or it looked like it might rain.  Or he'd had to go to work for an hour that day.  Or the kids were sick.  Or Disney was only three hours away.

So instead of the poured concrete borders that come in a variety of colors and shapes, are resistant to infestation and don't fade in the sun, Howard decided to put down wooden railroad ties, that will fade in the sun, but only after they disintegrate under the daily South Florida downpours and will then be devoured by termites.

But Howard sawed and cut.  Not carefully of course.  You can see how the corners don't exactly line up.  No problem, just stick a stray scrap of wood in the gap.  And what about all that grass?  Howard's plan to fill the area with mulch was a good one, but I advised he dig up the grass first, lest it continue growing through the mulch.  Not necessary, he assured me.  He'd just cover it. That'll kill the grass.  Click on the pic for a closer look at how that's working out, two weeks later.

And, you'll notice, out by the curb lay the mutilated remains of an old desk.  An unfortunate, yet vital sacrifice, necessary to ensure the dreaded return of Howard's fish tank.

To Be Continued...