Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Zingers From A Jackass

I feel like complete crap today.  I stayed home sick from work, so in addition to complete crap I also feel guilt.  I shouldn't.  I rarely use sick time for actual sickness. Still...

I also have had nothing to blog about, no opportunity to read blogs in the last few days and no real desire either.  In fact, I feel no desire to blog right now, but I feel I owe it to the few of you still sticking around.

So here are a few one liners from the poster boy for what is wrong with raising the mandatory pilot retirement age to 65.  My comments are in italics.

- There were lots of blonds on our last flight.  All layable.
                      Just not by him.

- I remember everyone I haven't flown with.
 Much like I remember everyone I've never met.

- My first wife divorced me so my second wife could get a visa.

- Jackass: I haven't seen you in a long time.
         Me: I know.  It's been great.

He wasn't paying much attention to his duties, so I said: 

Why don't I just do everything?

Jackass:  I think that's a good idea.
       Me:  Me too.

- I think my dad was in the CIA.  He used to procure exotic animals for the Miami Zoo.

- Train your wife.  Poison your kids.

- My wife had a coupon.  I bought gun cleaner.
- You worry about some of these pilots.
Yes I do.


Kara said...

Lol at the CIA one.

Feel better!

Tina Lynn said...

Feel better. I miss your commments. Remember the time you hijacked my blog...#goodtimes

Bossy Betty said...

Hope you feel better soon!

Amy Saia said...

Oh man, that's some bad flying. But it's great material. And I know how you feel about not wanting to blog sometimes. But just remember, it's not only good for you to meet all these other wonderful writers, but it's a good exercise for you as a writer yourself. Not that you need it, at all, but it is good to have a warm up every now and then before doing the serious stuff on your WIP.

Anyway, have a good one!

Travener said...

Hope you get well soon. Hope you don't experience too much turbulence in your stomach, lungs, etc.!

Kirsten Lesko said...

LMAO! I sure hope this guy shows up in one of those WIPs in your sidebar!

Natalie said...

Your stories sometimes make me never want to fly again. Crazy man. I hope you feel better!

Erica Chapman said...

LOL! I'm with Natalie, I hope I don't think of this stuff the next time I fly ;o)

Feel better dude, we miss ya!